Worst Hang Over Ever
by BoogieWoogieWonka
Summary: Have you ever woken up after a long night of drinking and wondered where the hell you were or even what happened the previous night?Well this is a story for you, with a darkshipping twist.R&R rated T for language.
1. Chapter 1

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. ( I love that quote...sorry had to put it up) Einstein

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except a brand new car, 14,000$+ trust fund, 24,000$ gun, A castle in Wales, A mansion in…err...I don't own anything at all; I live in a box with internet hook up. Please don't sue me or…well after that please don't stalk and kill me either,

Boogie notes: I really need to stop writing stories; they're pretty much all total crap. Anyway this story came to me while I was in the shower, to much information, I don't care. So anyway this story is probably going to start out as darkshipping, and most likely end up as yamishipping (maybe..¬¬), what more could someone ask for? But if this is anything like my other stories it's going to turn out the opposite of what I wanted. Well read and review and hopefully enjoy. Oh and they are going to be probably OOC.(cough) really OOC… On with the story!>>>

It was early in the morning and all threw out a warm house it was quiet. A young woman slept soundly in her respective bed. A man slightly older then the woman slept soundly in his respective bed. A young boy, younger then the woman by some, slept uneasily on the families couch. A blonde psychopath was currently wide awake and grinning like a fool in his respective bunk bed for reasons I'm not at liberty to comment on at this moment. Last but not least two young men slept soundly in someone's respective bed, who's they weren't sure but they'll find out when they wake up. This by the way is just about now just a few seconds, they're starting to stir from their peaceful slumber.

"Fucking hell my head feels like shit…" A white haired man groaned and sat up some on his elbows, squinting at the window in the far side of the room.

"Will you shut up, I'm trying to sleep." The annoyed mumble came from the white haired mans side. There was a long pause while the two let this new information sink into their newly awoke brains. They both shot up and stared at each other.

Bakura stared at the wide eyed Yami while Yami stared right back at the wide eyed Bakura before, well you can't say you didn't see this one coming a mile away.

"AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

-------------

"Hello?"

"Hi Ryou, its Yuugi, I know its early and everything but you know how Yami just legally turned 20 give or take a few thousand years?"

"Uh yeah Yuugi I remember, seeing how everyone came over and you threw him a giant birthday party…"

"Right well see he went out to finally drink alcohol for the first time in awhile, and well he didn't come home and I was wondering if you might have seen him or if Bakura had even seen him, I'm just worried is all, its not like him to not come home!"

"No Yuugi, I'm sorry I haven't seen him since the party, in fact Bakura didn't come home either but that's not all that strange for him. But calm down, I'm sure everything is fine. How about I come over and we can walk to Malik's and then look high and low for Yami? There's a fair chance he just got drunk and passed out somewhere."

"Okay I suppose, but I really don't think Yami is the type to get drunk."

-----------------

"Oh my god, I got _that_ drunk!" Yami screeched holding his stomach looking about ready to be sick.

"Really now, that's the least of your worries, getting drunk ha. You slept with Bakura and a hell of a lot more shit happened." Marik chirped. Wait…Marik? Yes Marik happened to be in the bunk bed above them; he had stuck his head over the side and was smirking down at the two. The upside down blonde glanced over at the white haired yami.

"I think he's in shock, poor thing having to sleep with the Pharaoh, but like I said, that's the least of your problems!" Bakura slowly looked up at Marik paler then normal.

"How exactly is this the least of my problems, I'm pretty sure this is the worst thing I've ever done, and I've done some pretty bad shit." Bakura stated giving Yami a weary glance as Yami took his time to slowly scoot away from the other yami and wrap the blanket that was on the bed around his slim waist, " Don't take all the blankets, you don't want to see me naked do you?" Yami paled and Marik snickered.

"You've already seen each other naked, done things while naked and-"Marik was cut off by Malik slamming the bedroom door open and storming in carrying something in his tan arms. He shoved the bundle in Yami's arms.

"That's it I can't take it anymore, that thing kept me up all night! And when it wasn't crying, you were screaming, so just take it and never bother me with it again!" And with that the slightly saner blonde left.

Yami looked down at the bundle in his arms; it was a baby. Nodding to himself slowly Marik smirked.

"See what I mean by sleeping together not being the worst dirtiest wicked thing you two did last night?" Gulping Yami handed the child to Bakura who took it blankly and glanced at it himself while Yami promptly passed out.

-------------

There was a knock at the door and Malik grumbled from already being tired and just generally being slightly pissy. Opening the door he was relieved to see Ryou and Yuugi standing there, Ryou was smiling slightly and Yuugi looked basically like a worried mother hen.

"Hey, what brings you two by so early?" Malik tilted his head trying to ignore the fact he was dead tired.

"Yami didn't come home last night and Yuugi's worried, we were wondering if you wanted to come help us find him, and may I ask if Bakura might happen to be here?" Ryou asked calmly.

"Actually they are both here." Yuugi's eyes widened, Malik wasn't sure they could get bigger but apparently they could.

"Yami's here! Where is he, is he alright?" Malik bit his lip and looked to the side trying not to laugh.

"He's um…well he got drunk last night and had a _romantic_ encounter with someone and some other things happened."

"He slept with Bakura or Marik possibly both,crashed here and I'm guessing some other less then legal activities happened." Ryou stated calmly while Malik and Yuugi gaped at him.

"You seriously scare me sometimes…but yeah, that's pretty much the gist of it, lets see what else happened...Oh you'll love this-"

---------------

Yami groaned as he felt himself being shook, blinking open his crimson eyes he looked into dark burgundy eyes, gasping he pulled away from the white haired male.

"Calm down Pharaoh, I need to tell you everything that happened so listen up okay?" Glaring at each other Yami nodded.

"Fine, do tell Thief."

"Okay well it starts out, we got drunk-"

"Obviously."

"Shut up, anyway if I can continue your majesty, we got drunk, apparently…got married and adopted a child and fucked." Yami felt sick again.

"We're _married!_" Bakura nodded and held out the bundle that happened to be a child wrapped up.

"And this is yours." Yami held the little baby, and stared at it for a minute.

"I can't take care of her." Bakura raised an eyebrow.

"How do you know it's a girl? Is that motherly instinct kicking in?"

"She's wrapped in bright pink blankets you moron." Bakura rolled his eyes before jumping slightly as the bedroom door was slammed open yet again.

"Oh Yami! I was so worried!" Yuugi ran in and glomped Yami (Who had handed the baby to Bakura before it could get squished) to the point where he was turning purple in the face. When Yuugi finally noticed his yami's discomfort he let go; he then turned red and turned around, "Y- Yami, you're kind of naked…" blinking and blushing himself Yami covered himself up again after the blanket had slide partly off from his hikari's worried hug.

"Aw isn't that _sweet_ or it might be if I didn't wake up next to my enemy, married and with a child." Bakura sneered at the two spiky haired youths.

Yuugi let out a gasp and turned to Yami once again wide eyed, "Is it true you two got married?" Yami glanced down at his hands; there was in fact a wedding ring on one of them.

"I think we did hikari…no matter how disturbing or revolting the thought of that is."

"Oh shut up Pharaoh, your worse then I am." Bakura leaned back trying to regain some of his pride even if he was currently now holding a sobbing child in his arms. Yami glared at the other male.

"Spare me _hunny_, and give me the child, I think you're scaring it which by the way doesn't surprise me." Yami grabbed the child and held it close, hearing the sobs slowly become quieter, turning to ask Yuugi something he found all three of the hikari's with big smiles on their faces.

"Aw that's so cute! You two act like an old married couple!" Ryou said happily.

"An old homicidal sadistic hateful married couple…" Marik mumbled from his place on top of the bunk bed.

"Aw is Mariku jealous?" Malik smirked as his yami glared at him.

"Dear diary, today I found out that I'm in love with-!"

"Shut up!" Malik screeched wide eyed, "How the hell did you find that? You know what never mind, I don't want to know." Marik grinned and said something that vaguely sounded like 'Revenge is sweet' under his breath.

"So…" Ryou started glancing at the child in Yami's arms, "What are you guys going to name it?"

"There will be no 'Naming it' we are going to take her back and explain it was a giant mistake. And that's period." Yami said firmly trying to convince himself he wasn't growing attached to the screaming slightly smellybaby.

"Speak for yourself Pharaoh, I'm keeping her." Bakura said, surprising the people of the room, glaring at them "I grew up mostly without a family; I'm not letting it happen to her. Got it?" A few nods came from the room and one snicker.

"Kura' wants to be a mommy!" Marik squealed, "And here I thought Pharaoh was the panties in that relationship!" Yami growled, reached up and grabbed a fist full of Marik's hair and yanked. Marik whimpered but was still able to speak, "But Pharaoh was the 'bottom' last night, what I said is true! Anyone wonder why he hasn't gotten up and walked around?" Yami blushed and yanked the psychotic yami's hair again.

"Gee I don't know, maybe because he's naked?" Ryou mumbled, rolling his eyes.

"Anyway, Bakura we don't actually have to stay…married do we?" Yami questioned, wondering why he was even asking and not demanding a divorce.

"Hell no, unless you secretly love me and that's why you got me drunk and made me bugger you." Bakura said calmly.

"Well of course, I had this all planned out for months, the baby and shiny rock was a bit of a surprise though." When everyone was left staring at Yami slightly wide eyed he sighed, "That was a joke people." They kept staring, "Stop that! I was joking! Only joking!" Yami groaned

"Right…anyway we do have to name her then." Bakura stated. The room went quiet for a few minutes as the yami's and hikari's tried to think up the perfect name.

"Ilori or Leila" Everyone turned towards the speaker; Marik.

"What? They're good names!" Marik protested to the blank stares.

"Actually…I kind of like them." Yami said softly and Bakura nodded along with him.

"But which one should you guys pick?" Yuugi cocked his head curiously at the 3, counting Marik because he chose the names.

End of chapter one!

Boogie notes: EE! ...I don't think that totally sucked, might have, I'm tired and I've been adding a few paragraphs everyday, but anyway, there it is! Darkshipping and maybe Yamishipping in the end, I don't know yet! I have this strange wanting to keep it Kura/Yami and have the other couples be like Marik/Yuugi (No idea why, I just for some reason like this couple and never see it.) then maybe Malik/Ryou. But who knows..

So like I was all sitting around and thought, what would happen if Bakura and Yami got drunk and slept together, but I didn't feel that was enough, so I obviously added a few things to torment the poor darlings to actually make it one of the worst hang over ever, one might argue that sleeping with Anzu would be the worst thing to happen, but I'm not that cruel. Being 15 I have no idea what a hang over feels like but I might today, my mother actually agreed I should try alcohol before I'm of legal age…crazy lady.

Okeedokie I need to know what name you guys like best, Ilori or Leila or both. or any other ideas for names would be good.

Ilori: Special Treasure (With Bakura in the picture I thought treasure would be a good thing in a name and I believe Ilori is African so not to far off )

Leila: Dark Beauty (Its Arabic! And do I really need to explain why I chose 'dark beauty' as a possible name?)

Fun facts: I don't know how many of you noticed at the top of the page for the legal drinking age I said 20 and not 21 (for the Americans like me… ) it's because Japan's drinking age is 20 and not 21! Also did anyone know that the female name in Japan Kura means Treasure House, I found this funny you may not.

Review please, I hope you enjoyed the first chapter, any pointers would be lovely, and I still have no beta… (hopes to kill exbeta)


	2. Court

Boogie: Oo some people actually like this story, it slightly scares me yet makes me want to squeal and run around in circles until I get so dizzy I pass out. Thank you everyone who reviewed or liked the story and were too lazy to review or just couldn't review because is a horrible terrible monster! Right anyway I'm not totally sure what the hell I'll be writing about in this chapter, I'll just wing it and hope it doesn't come out as crap, and lately ive had this huge blood sucking bug on my back telling me to write Marik/Yuugi so that might be in this chapter some. Oh and a few people asked why Marik watched/listened to Yami and Bakura do the dirty, my answer to that is who wouldn't want to watch them have sex? And to the uh I forget who exactly asked but its going to stay darkshipping, I'll keep yamishipping in mind for different fanfics. Enjoy and please review!-

Disclaimer: If I owned YGO I wouldn't be sitting in front of a crappy computer with a fat cat on my lap trying to write good slash.

There was silence in the room while four of the room occupants were in deep thought, those four happened to be Bakura, Yami, Malik and Ryou. Marik seemed to not care and would rather pick the newest scab on his arm while Yuugi was to busy thinking of how he was now a new uncle on some level.

"I think it should be Leila Ilori, they sound so pretty together and then maybe you could use both of your last names like Leila Ilori Mutou-Bakura.(1)" Ryou said softly.

"I agree, that's a great idea Ryou" Malik said, turning to smile at the other boy who smiled shyly back at him.

"You are both fucking morons, there is no way I am putting my name next to his." Bakura growled at his hikari who shrunk back

"Its only going to be for a little while until you two can get divorced, so leave us alone and grow a pair." The blonde hikari spoke narrowing his lavender eyes at Bakura for insulting his friend. Yami snorted and chuckled while Marik, who had been off and on listening to them babble, smirked to himself.

"Um do any of you even know where there's a divorce court around here?" Yuugi questioned to the rest of the group.

"Shit."

------

Malik walked back into the room carrying a large phone book, flopping down onto his bunk next to Bakura and Yami and he started flipping threw pages while the on-lookers of the room watched curiously.

"Here we go, found one. Marik go get me the phone so I can make an appointment for the gruesome twosome." Malik said turning his eyes up at the top bunk.

"Get it yourself lazy hikari." Was the annoyed mumbled reply from un-seeable blonde spiky haired yami. Malik fumed and was about to yell when Ryou spoke out.

"It's alright Malik, I can go get it." And the white haired one left the room for the time being.

"Yami are you alright? You're being kind of quiet." Yuugi said his deep purple eyes filling with concern and curiosity.

"I'm fine hikari, just hoping I'll wake up soon from this nightmare." Yami sighed.

"You did wake up, right next to Bakura after a good long night of sex." Marik said leaning over the side of his bunk bed grinning. Yami grabbed the phone book out of Malik's hands and repeatedly smacked Marik on the head with it but stopped when Ryou walked back in with the Ishtar's phone in his hands.

"Okay I'll go make an appointment and you two can get dressed or something. Come on Ryou, Yuugi lets give them some privacy." Malik strolled out of the room with the other hikari's following.

"Where exactly _are_ our clothes anyway?" Yami questioned turning to Bakura who shrugged and when they both turned to Marik he smirked.

"They're probably in the living room."

"Why would they be in the living room…Oh…OH…ew."

--------

Now after everyone was dressed and ready to go, well besides Marik he wasn't allowed to go into public places much and Yuugi who was in the washroom, they all stared at the 4 person car.

"Well I'm driving and Bakura and Yami have to come with so who else is coming with us?" Malik questioned.

"Well Yuugi isn't here and he probably wouldn't want to come to the court house with us anyway." Yami said while he was currently holding a fussing Leila.

"Okay sure, Ryou hop in." Malik said, opening the car door and sitting down in the driver's side. Bakura made a move to get into the seat next the Malik but the blonde thought otherwise.

"No way are you sitting in front, you'll cause a wreck or something, you are sitting in the back and that's final." Grumbling the white haired yami brushed past Yami who was smirking even if small hands were yanking on his hair.

"Yami you should sit in the back too." Ryou said smiling at the now gaping Yami.

"What! Why? I am not sitting next to that psycho thief!"

"Well if we did get in a wreck there would be less of a chance of the airbags coming out and hurting little Leila." Ryou's smile never left his face or wavered, it was a sign he knew he had own the argument.

-------

Marik could hear the argument from outside and the eventual car pulling out of the drive way, flopping down on to the Ishtar couch in plaid boxers(2) with a cup of Hiyazake Sake(3) he shut his lavender eyes. Until he remembered something; the rat was still here (a.k.a Yuugi). He then heard the patter of feet coming from the hallway.

'Speak of the devil.' Marik thought grimly, taking another swig of the Hiyazake.

"Oh um Marik where is Yami and the others? Are they outside?" Yuugi said stepping in to the room glancing around.

"They left already." Yuugi seemed slightly shocked at what the blonde had said although Marik thought it was understandable it would be a slight shock if his friends had just left him, but because it wasn't him it happened to he found it extremely funny.

"They left? Without me?" Large purple eyes looked sad, like someone had just strapped a puppy onto a rocket and sent it into the air to only crash into the sea infested with sharks. Marik could get up and dance this day was turning out so well.

"Did I stutter? Yes they left without you, doesn't surprise me one bit mister I have eyes the size of dinner plates." Marik shut his eyes again sipping on some more Sake then felt someone sit down on the couch next to him.

"Well…damn." Marik coughed some on his Sake turning to the Pharaoh's hikari.

"Did you just cuss?"

"I think I did."

"I thought you never cussed or did anything wrong." Marik tilted his head at the now pouting boy.

"Yeah well I'm upset; I can't believe Yami would just leave me here with you."

Now there are certain things you just don't say to psychopaths, like expressing any sort of feeling that might resemble fear. Yuugi was usually smarter then that too, such a shame. Marik now had a twisted grin plastered on his tan face and leaned in closer to the shorter boy who had enough sense to try and scoot backwards.

"Is the Pharaoh's hikari afraid to be alone with big bad Marik? Is he afraid that I might kill him?" Yuugi shook his head causing his multi colored hair so fly back and forth.

"I'm not afraid of you killing me, I trust you." Again I say, there are just some things you don't tell psychopaths. In less then a second Marik had a dagger against the boy's neck.

"Where did you even get that from?" Yuugi's brows furrowed and Marik shrugged pressing the dagger harder against Yuugi's neck.

"So you _trust_ me do yah? Are you so sure of that?" Marik smirked and watched as a small amount of blood pooled around the tip of the dagger and as Yuugi winced.

"I said I trust you wouldn't kill me, I never said I trusted you not to hurt me, you're a violent person, you have hurt people without even trying to sometimes." Yuugi's innocent darker purple eyes stared straight into Marik's narrowed lavender ones for at least a minute.

"Do you want to know what scares me the most about you Marik?" Yuugi question leaning in slightly closer, conscience of the dagger on his neck. Marik nodded and pulled the dagger away some and Yuugi leaned up so his mouth was almost right next to the others ear whispering softly.

"Your hair."

Marik stared hard at the boy with the purple eyes who was now smiling, before he pulled away slightly and leaned back into his seat reaching over to ruffle Yuugi's hair giving him a lazy smirk.

"Sake?"

----------

The group of four and well plus a baby had parked the car and were currently standing outside the court house. A few rather large things were stopping them from actually entering the building; protesters, Christian protesters. Yami handed over Leila to Ryou not wanting to take the child into the court house or anywhere near the crazies outside it.

Bakura and Yami made they're way to entrance when a hand reached out and latched onto Yami's shoulder, jumping slightly away from the grasp Yami turned to the owner wide eyed.

"Do not get a divorce, it's against God! It's in the bible! Blasphemy it's a gathering of blasphemous sinners!" The speaker was a slightly over weight southern sounding woman with a bad dye job. Bakura smirked and stepped forward towards the woman.

"Look lady it's either you get out of our way or I'm going to bugger him right in front of you." The woman blinked her large buggy eyes at Bakura.

"You heard me, move it you fat cow of a woman!" The woman promptly shut her mouth that was open gaping stupidly at the yami's and stepped back letting them pass, the rest of her group doing the same.

"Fuck I hate it when people stand up for things they believe in." Grumbled Bakura as they entered the front door and Yami couldn't help but snigger.

----------

"You know I'm not an idiot right?" Ryou asked softly, fiddling with his thumbs and giving nervous glances over at Malik who was currently holding the baby, shifting slightly in the stuffy car.

"Of course I know you're not an idiot, any one with a brain cell could tell that. Why would you ask me something like that?" Malik questioned tilting his head at the white haired boy. The first thing he noticed was that Ryou refused to make eye contact with him.

"You know for someone as smart as you Malik you sure can be a total moron sometimes."

"What are you talking about Ryou?"

"Malik kiss me."

"…Huh?"

---------

Yami and Bakura were sitting in two rather large comfy chairs in front of a huge oak desk with a stuffy looking woman on the other side. The woman who had her hair up in a tight bun shifted her glasses and gave the boys a leer.

"So you two are here to get a divorce I presume." She spoke in a low smoker's voice.

"Nope, we heard you all had awesome cookies." Bakura replied happily.

"I do not tolerate childish jokes in my office, if you came for business then get to it and then I hope to never see the likes of you again." Yami figuratively stepped in before Bakura could make another smart assed comment to the woman I will now call Mrs. Tanaka (4).

"I'm sorry, yes we are here for a divorce, it was an accident you see, and well yeah we need a divorce before we end up killing each other. "

"Yes ive heard it all before, well I can get you divorced right away, but it will cost around oh let's see." She fumbled around with some papers before pulling a light pink one up,"Ah here it is, it will be around 27,000 dollars (5)." Needless to say the two males in the room were left wide eyed.

"We can't afford that, and no you can't steal it Bakura." Yami said in slightly shocked voice and leaving Bakura pouting at the thought of staying married and not being able to steal some thing.

"Well then you can't afford to get divorced, if that will be all I must take my leave." And with that the mega bitch, I mean Mrs. Tanaka stood up and walked out of the office.

"This day can not get any worse." Yami groaned rubbing his temples while Bakura angrily shoved things off the woman's desk.

----------

"Marik, can I please invite Anzu and Jou over?" Yuugi asked sweetly

"Bitch and mutt, hmm let me think about it, done, no." Yuugi just pouted trying to use his bug like eyes to his advantage.

"Pretty please?"

"No."

"Please please please please please! I wanna tell them everything that's happened!"

"Hell no."

"I'll let you bite her as hard as you want."

"What are you waiting for squirt! Go get the fucking phone!"

----------And that endschapter two!-----

Well wasn't that uber fun! Took me for god damn ever, mostly because I'm effing lazy. Thank you again everyone who reviewed the story, you make me very happy! I don't know when I'll be able to write more on this story with thanks giving coming up, I have to see family and stuff, but I'll try and write some before I go and have a nice long chappy with I get back to post! But I'll also be working on my other stories, I feel the need to write on my hpdm ones…I just saw hp4 and I'm inspired, anyway. Thanks again.

1: There's a fair amount of easy reasons I picked Leila Ilori Mutou-Bakura, first, one of my first reviewers asked for Leila Ilori, second, more reviewers asked for Leila, third is quite simple, it spells out LIMB.

2: I put Marik in plaid boxers mainly because it's usually like black silk or some crap like that, so muaha, plaid kicks ass.

3: Hiyazake Sake is cold Sake; ive heard more people like it because it tends to be a little sweeter.

4:I picked the name Tanaka because I didn't want to do something cliché like name her after a old teacher I hated, but I did think about it….damn you Mrs. Giles….

5: I have honestly no effing clue what a divorce would cost in court or in Japan, it varies a lot. My mom was going to get a divorce online for like 100$, but I figured I would go all out in my torture. Plus I didn't know what 27 grand would be in yen….

Oh and to one reviewer who asked how did they get lil' Leila; I have no idea I don't really plan out my stories before I write them, but knowing Bakura he probably just stole one…

Well that's it for now, tell me what you think, hopefully enjoy and please review if you want me to keep going. Danke! Boogie


	3. Babies R Uswhy god

Boogie: ...I love you all so much! I know ive been a lazy ass lately and its taken me for-flipping-ever to get this chapter up, but I've been doing important things, like playing video games with my cousins(one of them is year older then I am and is shorter then Yuugi, no joke.), and learning how to make sweet and sour chicken! And I need to get a job soon, so I can buy useless things (minimum wage here rocks, over 7bucks an hour! ) So without further –insert French word- I shall continue the story!

Disclaimer: I don't own effing anything alright...damn nosy people!

Sighing Yami looked over at the person occupying the seat next to him in the car they were currently in. Bakura currently had Leila in his arms and he was bouncing her up and down on his knee and the small child let out a childish giggle, Yami smiled to himself, when Bakura wasn't trying to take over the world and kill everyone he knew the thief wasn't all that bad.

"Fuck!" Bakura cursed holding the child at arms length away, "She bloody smells!" That was when the unpleasant scent wafted threw the car, causing Yami and Ryou to gag while the other two turned a rather green looking color being closer to the child.

"She needs a clean diaper! Malik there's a baby store about 3 blocks from here." Ryou said holding his nose closed with his thumb and pointer finger. The blonde nodded and sped as fast as he could towards the new destination.

Four males piled out of a car, one holding a baby and made they're way into 'Babies R Us' which was the closest baby store near them, why Ryou knew about it? Ask him yourself in your own fan girl fantasies!

"Why the hell is it called Babies R Us, do they sell babies here?" Bakura cocked his head at the huge sign.

"No idiot, they sell baby supplies here." Malik said glaring at the 'former' thief.

"But they sell toys at Toys R Us; they should sell babies at Babies R Us." Malik blinked and turned towards the sign and paused for a second.

"Your right, that does make no sense."

"Will you both just shut up, this thing stinks!" Yami growled at the two, holding Leila.

"Right, well come on then." Bakura marched up to the store and they all made they're way in.

"Hello and welcome, I'm Mika how may I- oh God's what is that smell?" A pretty dark haired girl gasped and clawed at her throat eventually passing out in the entrance of the store leaving the four staring down at her.

"Is she dead?" Yami asked uncertainly poking her side with the tip of his black boot. Bakura shrugged.

"If she is we'll just dump her body into a pit." Yami turned and gasped at the other male, "Well it won't be just any pit, limestone works well."

"I don't think I'd feel comfortable flinging a body into a limestone pit." Yami said staring at the girl, his eyes darkening.

"Don't you recognize her? She's one of Anzu's friends. You wouldn't feel bad about throwing one of Anzu's friends body into a pit would you?"

"Hmm…You make a good case thief." Yami said crossing his arms and continued to poke the girl with his boot. Ryou groaned and looked over at Malik with pleading eyes, the fumes must have dumbed down the normally bright Yami's.

When the doorbell rang a rather small young man squealed and jumped up from his place on a couch, dashing towards the front door, with a sadistic blonde following behind the smaller one. Yanking open the door Yuugi found Anzu and Jou who appeared to be in a heavy argument.

"No way are the Back Street Boys better then Avril Lavigne!" Anzu squeaked at the boy with her hands on her hips.

"Avril is just some girl trying to be punk, the BSB were in an Alice Cooper music video, so they rule so much more over that washed up chick!" Jou glared.

"Oh who cares about some old boring rocker that no one even remembers! Lavigne- Oh hi Yuugi!" Anzu finally turned her attention towards the boy who was slightly gaping at the two.

"Ive got to agree with the mutt on that one." Came a deep voice from around the corner, the Blonde yami poked his head over Yuugi's and smirked at the mutt's and bitches horror.

"Oh my good gosh Yuugi, what are you doing near a hideous monster like him!" Anzu gasped taking a step backwards, Jou who hadn't had the best of experiences with the yami seemed slightly more cautious.

"Hideous! I'm not hideous you disgusting pug faced, crack whore, vomitous mass sad excuse of a creature! Go burry your own feelings of self loathing by bitching to others about being better people, oh and the Pharaoh never has and never will love you." Marik seethed at the girl who was wide eyed and looked like she was about to cry, Marik turned his head down towards Yuugi, "Can I bite her now?" he whispered.

"Stop it, your both acting like children!" Yuugi yelled stomping his foot down.

"I am a child, how old am I now, 10?" Marik asked counting on his fingers; Yuugi rolled his dark purple eyes.

"Anzu I know sometimes your trying to honestly help, but not everyone can love each other, sometimes you have to agree to disagree, so please Anzu let them live they're own lives." Yuugi said his voice getting softer towards the end of his speech; Anzu nodded and wiped away the tears that were forming in her eyes. Marik huffed and grabbed the girls arm and chomped down on it.

"Ow! Oh Lord he drew blood! Yuugi help!" Sometimes Yuugi felt he needed new friends.

After deciding the just shove the girl who had fainted out of the main walk way the group made they started looking for the items they needed.

"Ow! Bakura!" Yami yelped, turning around after being hit in the head with a baby rattle, Bakura was cackling and it was rather obvious that Malik was trying not to laugh. Yami bent down to pick up the rattle that had just hit him. No one hurts him and gets away with it.

"Hey I got the- uh what are they doing" Ryou had jogged up next to Malik who was about 5 feet away from the two, Ryou was carrying some off brand cheap sort of diaper.

"Well Ryou it appears they're throwing baby toys at each other." Malik smirked, stepping a bit closer to Ryou, who happened to be staring slightly shocked at the immaturity of the other two, when an arm slipped around his waist his face turned a strange color of magenta.

"Gah!" Bakura screamed and turned on the spot to face Ryou and Malik, Malik jerked his arm back in an attempt to not be seen by the insane yami, "You put images in my head!" Bakura didn't look to happy, so Yami thought he would just toss another rattle at the other yami's head.

"W-what are you talking about Bakura?" Ryou stuttered which was a thing he hadn't done for a good long while.

"You know damn well what I'm talking about! Do you really think I want to see you and Malik-" The rest of this conversation was unknown to Malik, Ryou at the last second had covered his ears, of course he couldn't hear it but he could see the grow look of shock on Yami's face and the group of people who had gathered around, gaping. When Bakura had stopped moving his mouth Ryou removed his hands from the blonde's ears.

"What was the belt sander for…?" Yami asked wide eyed.

"I'm sorry Bakura I really didn't mean to, I'll make sure it never happens again, please I'm really sorry." Ryou looked about on the verge of a mental break down so Bakura just rolled his eyes and turned and walked down a random aisle after grabbing Yami's arm and yanking him along with.

"What was that all about?" Malik turned to Ryou, who blushed and shrugged before giving a questioning glance to Malik

"Where's Leila?"

"Oh what fresh hell is this!" A manager or someone at least who worked for the store had stomped up, seeing the huge crowd and the amount of toys that had been scattered along the floor looked rather pissed, not wanting to anger the man any more then he was already Malik grabbed Ryou and ran to catch up with Bakura and Yami.

"But Leila!" Ryou gasped out while being dragged, but was not heard over the yells of the fussy store worker.

Yuugi, Jou, Anzu and Marik all sat around the table in the Ishtar's kitchen, sipping drinks, Yuugi believed Marik had slipped some sake into Jou's CC Lemon (1) because the boy was acting rather strangely and Marik seemed to giggle every time he looked at the blonde, what was it about them and wanting to make Jou do things…not like that perverts.

"Soooo…Jou, have you slept with Kaiba yet?" Marik questioned with a lazy smirk, leaning back so his chair was tipped on the back to pegs and he had his feet propped up on the table.

"W-what! No! God's no! We hate each other, we are total opposites!" Jou spluttered out, some of his lemon drink dripping onto his cheap worn shirt.

"You know what they say, opposites attract for a quick roll in the hay but aren't good for long lasting relationships!" Anzu quipped and Yuugi nodded while Jou just blushed and stared down at the table.

"What a load of shit, ive seen opposites get together and stay together, look at Bakura and Yami!" Marik snorted and glared at Anzu, who shrunk back from the crazy mans heated stares.

"Yami and Bakura? That's not opposites meeting, that's opposites getting wasted." Jou said.

"Most of that might be true, but I honestly think if you love someone, truly love someone, if you're different from them in some way it shouldn't matter." Yuugi spoke and smiled happily at the others, 2 of whom returned the smiles.

"Yeah for instance little Yuugi and I have been going at it for a few months" Marik said calmly. The rest of the group however …well, you know how George Bush choked on a pretzel? Think that but on soda.

"Oh my god I knew something fishy was going on!" Anzu screeched and jumped up staring over Yuugi who had to crane his head upwards to look the girl in the face wide eyed.

"Damn Yug' I never thought yah had it in yah!" Jou grinned giving him a peace sign.

"No no no! He's lying; we're not doing anything I swear!" Yuugi gasped out but got weary looks back, "Okay who do you trust more, Marik? Or me?" Yuugi asked with pleading eyes and they seemed to calm down.

"Yeah of course I'm lying, because if we actually had been the munchkin wouldn't be able to walk for a few weeks" Marik smirked standing up and walking out of the room, leaving the 3 barely out of high school kids to talk amongst themselves, or at least all blush and spend an hour in a awkward silence.

End…for now.

1: CC Lemon is a japanese...lemon drink obviously, very sweet and tooth rotting from what ive heard, sounds like something teen's would drink (I know I would!).

Boogie: Yuck that was short…but I wanted to get something up before Christmas, so happy holidays you guys! I love you peoples hope you enjoy this (uber short) chapter!. Thank you all reviewers, I love you more then life itself!...Okay maybe not that much, but you still rock mein sox's!


	4. Everyone loves twister

Boogie notes: Well first of all I wanted to say this story shall not live on; it will die with the rest of my dreams…naah just joking. Thanks those of you who like the story...even if the amount of reviews for the last chapter was less then pleasing…okay so it was still pleasing, but I'm a very needy person…so please review, makes me all happy and stuff! So new chappy that hopefully won't suck as much as the last few…mostly the last one…Anywho on with the horrible story of doom…yes that's right…doom.

Disclaimer: I can't afford to buy myself French fries; do you honestly think I owned ygo?

'_I'm a tumor' _yami to hikari link-speech!

----Yami's point of view----

Quickly I shrugged off the hand of the man who was dragging me, because I really hate being man-handled, that and it makes me hate it all the more when it's the thief who's man-handling me…no wait that sounds wrong, I'll just repress that thought. Now we're just walking down an aisle, Bakura was a few feet ahead of me, sulking or pouting, just the childish sort of thing he would do. As I started to notice what aisle we were going down, maternity, the idea of actually taking care of Leila was sinking in, before it all just seemed like some sort of bad dream, but you know what, I'm sure I can raise a child, seeing how I used to be Pharaoh and took care of an entire nation, I'm sure one small child cant be that hard to take care of.

"Hey Pharaoh." Glancing over at the voice, Bakura, who had turned around and was now smirking at me, I guess he got over the sulking thing, but smirking isn't good, not for him, I wouldn't be surprised if he lit me on fire this very instant.

"We should get you some of those." The thief motioned towards something, my eyes followed his finger. Maternity thongs…Oh he will pay. I just glared at the white haired man in front of me, and then gave the thongs a disgusted look.

"Why would they even make those, they're repulsing." I stated firmly, As if daring him to disagree with me, which he always did anyway.

"Pregnant people need lovin' too yah know." He grinned at me for a moment, Oh how I hate him. But before I could retort to his comment I saw his eyes narrow slightly, for a second I thought Malik and Ryou might have found us, but that thought was quickly dismissed when I actually turned around to see what Bakura was actually glaring out. Oh my…A couple was standing there, smiling at us, they're smiles could put one of Yuugi's to shame. They also had around 6 children, all under the age of 10 I'm guessing, and the woman was even very pregnant at that moment.

"Hey there how are you all doing?" The man was still smiling and stuck out his hand towards me, what the hell did he want?…oh right the hand shake thing, this new culture takes some getting used to. I shook right hand of the man while giving him a weary look, I'm not very wild about people touching me that I don't know.

"We're fine, thanks." I heard a growl behind me, Bakura was about an inch behind me to my side, giving the 'all smiles' couple a death glare, yet they seemed unnerved. Okay so what, they're a little creepy, if it means pissing off Bakura more by speaking to them, then who cares.

"Sorry about him, he's just a little moody, new baby and all." I put on my best aristocratic yet kind smile I could.

"Ah don't worry I understand, after our first one she was a bear!" The man chuckled nudging his wife in the side, her smile faltered for a second before she laughed to. Okay, they're really creepy.

"Where's my manners! I'm Mieko and this is my wife Kioko, and our children Rei, Naoko, Keitaro, Akeno, Eriko and Anda. We've got 3 more at home, but they wouldn't all fit in the car!" I stared at the man blankly, of course back in Egypt it wasn't uncommon for someone to have a lot of children, but this was just insane, children back in Egypt were mostly just used as tools for the farm, and to carry on a blood line, but in this current time period I couldn't imagine anyone having that many children.

"What are you, fucking rabbits?" Bakura questioned, I would have gotten mad at him if I hadn't been thinking along the same thing. The couple in question just laughed and asked Bakura not to use 'foul' language around they're children, of course him being Bakura he was just about to go off on a tangent of just swear words, so I elbowed him in the upper stomach, or maybe he wasn't going to say anything, but I like hitting him anyway.

Then a strange thing happened, the woman's face, Kioko, dropped suddenly, a shock of horror came onto the once smiling face as she pointed past us down the aisle.

"A baby! Who could be such horrible parents as to let they're baby crawl around this store in nothing but a diaper!" I shrugged, some people were just bad parents, and Bakura was apparently thinking along the same train of thought as we turned around to get a look at the baby.

"Well you know, some people are just irresponsible!" Bakura was grinning at the couple while my eyes were locked on the baby who was currently sitting in the middle of the floor. Hell.

"Leila!" Yelping I ran towards the child picking her up and holding her securely in my arms. I turned back to Bakura and the couple, Bakura looked like he didn't know if he should laugh or run, because needless to say I was rather pissed.

"And I suppose we're those irresponsible people" He laughed nervously before grabbing my arm yet again, for the second time in the last 30 minutes and hauled me off somewhere. Sometimes I really hate being short…

----Bakura's point of view---

So after I dragged the Pharaoh away from the odd couple, we were down a few aisles from where we found Leila, and because I am way to fucking lazy to spend more time in this store searching my hikari and Malik, I figure I'd just ask Ryou, and seeing how the Pharaoh looks like he's about ready to hurt something...probably me, I doubt he would abject.

'_Ryou!' _I yelled threw our link, I mostly kept it closed off, because well… are things I'd rather not have my hikari knowing about. I could almost feel as the boy jumped, obviously startled.

'_Are you still mad at me Bakura?'_ Damnit why does he have to sound like such a fucking wimp about everything, he's my hikari, so shouldn't he act like me, even if come to think of it most of the hikari's don't act much like they're yami's.

'_No I'm not fucking mad, just tell me what aisle you're on.'_

'_We're on the 19th aisle.' _Okay that's easy, it's only a few aisles down from here, then we can get out of this accursed store and Yami won't end up sending me to the shadow realm again, did I just call him Yami? No bad Bakura, never again. Yuck.

-----

Okay we finally got out of there, sure we've been banned for a month, but I'm sure there are other places to buy diapers and things like that. We're sadly not in the car yet, but on the sidewalk, why? Well a child still needs changing, and I don't care if I was one who wanted to keep her, I am so not changing her, that's women's work. So Ryou was down by Leila changing her diaper, while Malik the Pharaoh and I stood back, we were even trying not to even look at the two, or breathe around the horrid odor. Now once that business was over with we all piled into the car, same spots as last time, but now the Pharaoh wasn't even letting me hold Leila, blaming that whole, 'finding her in the middle of a store thing' on me, it was like if anything at all goes wrong its my fault. The nerve of some arrogant stuck up brats that I don't care to name.

I then heard a giggle over the link, now what the hell was my hikari laughing at.

'_What's with you, why are you laughing, I don't see anything funny about how the Pharaoh always blames things on me.' _The laughing stopped, good.

'_Oh you were serious?' _What the hell does he mean 'Was I serious' I outta smack the kid.

'_Of course I was serious, why wouldn't I have been!' _

'_Because that just seems so stupid from you of all people'_

'_Huh?' _

'_You blame **everything** on Yami, just last week you blamed him when it started to rain!' _I huffed and closed the link, where does Ryou get off thinking he can speak to me like that, plus…it was the Pharaoh's fault, in a sense, He got me stuck here, otherwise I would be good and dead in the nice dry dirt by now. I glanced over at the boy king, the stupid jerk looks a little tired, but to give him some credit, I'd be tired too if I had just slept with myself the night before. I smirked and chuckled to myself, sure it caused both the Pharaoh and Ryou to stare at me, but what can I say, I amuse myself.

-----------

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--Marik's point of view---

I am bored out of my mind; the shrimp sent home his friends after awhile, so now I'm sitting here with the boy watching some horrible show. The sake was a slight buzz, but not nearly enough of one, and I refuse to drink anything stronger because well it tastes like cat piss, that and I've gotten drunk and slept with a few strangers myself, then of course killed the, because contrary to popular belief I don't sleep around with almost anything that moves, mostly I find the human race disgusting, with the exception of a few mortals. I glanced over at the Pharaoh's hikari; sure the kid was way to trusting and acted like he only saw the world with butterflies and rainbows, of course I know that's not totally true, the kids got a spine no matter how trusting he is, plus he's as cute as a bunny, one of those dwarf bunnies. I can also stand Malik my hikari and Bakura and Ryou…well Ryou is just fun to scare, and yes I see Bakura as a mortal, no matter how much he denies it, he was still human at one point in time, and I am just hate in a body.

Feeling a nudge in my side I turned and looked down at said dwarf bunny, I raised an eyebrow at him curiously.

"I'm bored, this show is bad." Damn I hate those eyes; they're like huge purple pools of hypnotic power! I sighed and turned off the TV, he was right though, that show was fucking awful.

"So what do you want to do little one?" He just shrugged at me, smirking I leaned closer to him for the second time that day.

"I have an idea…but you'll have to take off your clothes." I know I was grinning like a maniac as the boy stared blank faced back at me, before he smiled himself and nodded in agreement.

-----Normal POV----

"We're back!" Malik called out, opening the door farther to let Ryou, Yami and Bakura in, after he shut the door all three heard something rather strange.

"Ow! Stop that hurts!" The four males turned to look at each other, Ryou mouthed 'Yuugi' at them with a questioning expression, and they took a few steps closer to the living room.

"Well it wouldn't hurt so much if you would just stop moving!" It seemed at the sound of Marik's voice Yami's heart stopped beating for a few seconds, he recovered though with a furious expression, shoving Leila into Bakura's arms then he stomped into the living room with the other three close behind.

"Yuugi!" Yami shouted out, behind the couch and watched as Yuugi's head popped up from the other side of the couch, the smaller Mutou grinned at Yami.

"Welcome back" He was smiling, but that wasn't what Yami was looking at; the boy was only in his boxers.

"Huh what's going on? Oh…Hello Pharaoh." Marik sat up from behind where Yuugi was sitting; he was also in his boxers.

"What the hell are you two doing?" Yami's face had turned a very bright color of red, and looked about an inch away from killing Marik.

"We're playing twister!" Yuugi smiled at his yami, while the color of Yami's face drained slowly.

"Twister?" Marik was smirking, and Bakura was having a hard time not laughing out loud from behind Yami.

"Yes Pharaoh it's a game." Marik explained slowly as if the former Pharaoh was a child. Fury was slowly coming back to Yami.

"Then why are you two only in your boxers." He growled out.

"That ones easy Yami, have you ever tried to play twister in skin tight leather?" Yuugi questioned, if Yami didn't know better he would have said the smaller boy was smirking.

"I...I …oh...uh…alright then." Yami stammered obviously embarrassed by what he thought he hikari had been doing.

"What exactly is going on?" All heads turned to the hallway that lead to the upstairs, Ishizu was standing in the hallway wearing a light tan sleeping shirt, staring at the group in front of her. It wasn't everyday one would see an evil spirit sitting next to a reincarnation of an ancient Pharaoh sitting on a twister mat, with said ancient Pharaoh about 3 feet away from them looking like he had just been smacked, and a ancient tomb robber behind the Pharaoh holding a baby. Ishizu mentally cursed herself for sleeping in.

"Well it's sort of hard to explain." Malik, her little brother, said nervously from the doorway behind Bakura.

"I'll try my best to keep up Malik, now explain." She said firmly narrowing her eyes slightly, thinking this was one of those times it wouldn't have hurt to been able to see the future, because she really didn't want this turning into an every weekend sort of thing.

-----

Once everything had been explained to the best of they're abilities, Ishizu was sitting on the couch, next to the now fully dressed Yuugi, Ryou and Yami, well you could also count Leila since she was being held by Yami, the other three picked standing. A silence had fallen over the group as Ishizu sat looking at her hands, biting her lower lip slightly, to everyone else around her it might have looked like she was deep in thought, but no, the female Ishtar was trying her hardest to not laugh, since it was un-lady like. After a second she looked back up to the group.

"Alright I understand, sorry but I can't think of anything to help your situation, but first I really must say." She paused for a second, and the group waited, well Marik really wasn't paying attention to any part of it, but that's beside the point, "I must say…that if you ever do that again in my home, and if you don't leave this house in an hour I will personally kick you out myself." Blank stares greeted her statement.

"I'm fine with that, since the first wont ever be happening again, and I could stand to go home and get cleaned up anyway." Yami said, first to speak, Bakura nodded in agreement to both, knowing sleeping together would never ever happen again. (Boogie: Poor wrong fools…)

"But before you go I have something to give you that might come of as some use." Yami's and Hikari's gave Ishizu a curious look, well besides Marik…like I said.

------

With a huff Ishizu shoved a large dusty box out of the way, and reached behind where the box had been and pulled out an even dustier trunk, smiling proudly she turned on her heels to face her company.

"Here it is!"

"Uh, sister, what exactly is _it_?" Malik questioned, standing next to Ryou. Ishizu rolled her eyes in a slightly child like way at her younger brother and flipped open the trunk with a click after she undid the hinges.

"Baby clothes?" Ryou said astonished, Malik just cocked an eyebrow at his older sister.

"Are those my old baby clothes?" Ishizu nodded, looking back down at the trunk full of small garments, most of them were tan, white or black.

"They are a little old, and maybe a tad bit to large for Leila, but I'm positive they will work fine until you can get her some better clothes." Ishizu smiled at Yami and gave a sort of half glare to Bakura, she really didn't like him, and she didn't care for Marik either.

"Thank you Ishizu that's very considerate of you, we will try and keep them in good care." Yami spoke with a small smile, Ishizu smiled at him, what can she say, she likes being complimented by the former Pharaoh.

"Well now, all we have to do is get some baby chow or something, and then I can take her home!" Bakura said smugly but Yami just snorted.

"Home? She is not going home with you Thief." It was a command, but as I've said before, Bakura really don't listen to what Yami has to say.

"Hey Pharaoh, I was the one that actually wanted to keep her, I should get to keep her!" Bakura growled out.

"You've killed all of your pets or they've been taken away by animal control and you think you can take care of a child?" Yami shouted at the Thief, for what seemed like the millionth time that day.

"I took care of myself! Why was that again? Oh right my village was destroyed by your family!" Bakura screamed and Yami went quiet but was still glaring.

"I'm staying at your house tonight, if you can prove to be responsible enough then maybe you can keep her once in awhile." Yami said firmly after a second, Bakura's eyes were still narrowed but he shrugged and turned away.

"Do whatever you want, I don't give a fuck."

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------End of chappy!

Boogie: Yay! I'm done, and only after two days! Don't look at me like that, I'm lazy! Okay so anyway that was fun, I liked it better then last chapter, mostly the twister part… Anywho, I can't really think of anything else to say, but if you like the story that's wonderful! If you don't…then why the hell have you read it this far? Okay time for some fun facts! Oh and I believe this is the longest chapter to date…over 3000 words…not tons, but my normal is usually just under 2000 (I suck…I already know this!)

They do actually make Maternity Thongs….which really does make me half sick.

I have next to no idea of how Ishizu or Marik actually act, since I've barely seen them, so if they're horribly out of character that's probably why. Hell I had to look up her name was Ishizu…I just called her Isis for awhile.

Okay so that wasn't much…but I'm not sure how many people know the heights of these main people for my fic at least! But because I'm creepy and really…weird, I have all of they're weights and heights! …And birthdays… So here yah go, for people who have less life then me, or who want to write it into some sort of fic.

Malik Ishtar (Probably the same for Marik) – 121 pounds(55kg) 5'11(180cm) …Hint, if he was alive, he would be anorexic, see they have this list they go by, if your between 18-24 like body fat, your healthy. Malik is 16. Malik's Birthday! Dec. 23rd

Ryou Bakura (Also around the same for Yami Bakura) – 114 lbs (52kg) 5'7 (170cm) Birthday is September 2nd. …Ryou would also be slightly anorexic...

Yuugi Mutou- 93lbs (42kg….skinny midget…) 5'0 (153cm) Birthday is June 4th

Yami no Yuugi: 93( 42 kg …even skinnier midget) 5'4 (163cm) I have no idea when his birthday is…, and yes…Yami is probably insanely anorexic..(What! He gained no weight but is 4 inches taller then Yuugi! That's not healthy!)

….I might put in more people as the fic goes on if people care…I just like showing how much of a geek I am.

REVIEW! Goddamnit… I want 3 or more before I start the next chapter! …I'm needy so what… …

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Again I say, REVIEW!...Okay I'm really needy!


	5. Pain For Pleasure

Boogie: I'm alive!…what can I say…I'm really…like really lazy, that's why its taken so long to get this up…that and ive been sick, my dad was in a car accident, my grandmamma had a stroke and my aunt has cancer. Otherwise...yeah my bad. Anywho anyone who reviewed...I think I got 7 or something, thank you all! It might have taken forever, but it really does mean a lot, so keep em' coming! Disclaimer: I only own a lack of social life which is why I'm writing this fic.

Warning: …Do I really have to say? Its totally unrealistic to the actual show and all of the characters are insanely out of character...although someone did say Bakura was quite in character, honestly I haven't watched more then 10 episodes in the last 4 years, so I'm just going by bits and pieces of memory from the show…actually if anyone knows a place where I can download the episodes for free that would be awesome...preferably in subtitles but hey, I wont bite the hand that feeds me…well actually I have before but that's not the point, they should have known not to put their hand in front of my face.

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"This is your apartment?" Yami questioned, everyone was staring up at a rather large building which had several windows.

"Yes, but don't let the outside fool you, its pretty big inside." Ryou said smiling, the only reason they were waiting outside was because there hadn't been enough room in the car, so they forced Bakura and Marik to take the bus, well not 'they' so much as Yami forced them to take the bus. Ah well speak of the devils, Bakura and Marik came walking up, both growling and muttering under their breath.

"Well are we going in or not? I want to get a drink." Bakura growled out, Ryou just shrugged and nodded making his way with the rest of the group following. They went up a flight of stairs and Ryou unlocked the door on that story on the left side, they all walked in and gasped.

"Wow this place is huge!" Yuugi exclaimed, and he was right, the place had to be around 3000sq feet, Malik and Marik didn't look all that shocked though, for one, they had both been to the Bakura residence before and their home was about the size of this one.

"Well it might be large but it also costs quite a lot also, but my father makes enough." Ryou chuckled, slipping off his shoes and moving out of the hallway of the entrance and going towards the living room which was the largest room of the house, it had a slight curve shape to it, Yuugi and Yami who weren't familiar house could see two other hallways leading towards the bedrooms and kitchen. (Boogie: I am totally making this up off the top of my head based off of some other Japanese apartment's ive seen online…gag! I have no ideas for this story)

Yami shivered slightly, it was cold in the apartment and even if leather was relatively warm it wasn't helping much.

'_If they want it this fucking cold in their house they should just move to the North Pole!' _Yami would have gotten the chance to rant longer (He rants a lot...) if a cold splash of water in the face hadn't woken him up from his thoughts, not only that but now he had to calm a now screeching, and wet, baby that happened to be in his arms. Yami growled and turned to the person who had thrown the water at his royal face (Gee I wonder who it could be), Bakura grinned cheekily at the former and currently wet Pharaoh (did that sound dirty or what?).

"Why in the name of Osiris did you do that!" the thief smiled and mimicked his hikari's well known 'innocent commonly called puppy dog eyes' look.

"You shook. People in Egypt who fainted and started to shake sometimes died if they weren't cooled down right away.(1)." Yami's left eye twitched.

"We're _not_ in Egypt! You're just trying to make me hypothermic!" Yami shoved Leila into Ryou's arms, his angry yells now going over the screech of the child. Bakura tried to pull off his innocent look by pouting, of course this didn't work seeing how he still looked like an insane demonic bunny rabbit.( Seriously what is up with his hair?)

"I do not know what 'hypothermic' is dear Pharaoh." Yami was fuming, something Bakura took pride in, he could piss off Yami faster then anyone else on the planet.

"You do to you liar! While we were still in school you called in and said you couldn't come because you had hypothermia!" A mock gasp emitted through out the cold apartment.

"Gee Yami I didn't know you paid that attention to what I say; maybe you do actually love me!" When Yami looked about ready to rip out either his own hair or Bakura's, Ryou thought it about time to step in and put a stop to the childish bickering.

"I swear if someone locked you two up in a room together you wouldn't kill each other, you would just argue until one of you died! Then the other would insult the dead body!" Ryou huffed out.

"Yeah, unless you tossed in a bottle of booze, then they would just fuck like bunnies." Marik smirked leaning against the wall; of course his look dropped rather quickly when both Yami and Bakura gave him murderous glares. The room it seemed got a whole lot colder.

-------Flashback!-----

Yami sighed to himself, sitting down on a stool in front of a slightly less then hygienic bar.Garnet eyes glanced around until they landed on the server; patience wasn't exactly a specialty for the yami so he waved the man over.

"What do you want?" The man was normal height, with curly black hair and smelled slightly, one glance at the man and you could tell he wasn't Japanese.

"What do you have?" Yami pushed a few pieces of blonde hair out of his eyes so to make better eye contact with the man, the man made eye contact back. He obviously hadn't been in Japan very long either, probably American or something, apparently it was rather rude to make eye contact in Japan, Yami didn't understand why, but part of his royal blood liked making people feel uncomfortable and small (that and normally the only people smaller then him are Yuugi and Mokuba), so he did it anyway.

"Well a big hit of course is the Kiriban beer, and we've got some microbrew stuff also, and there are the girly drinks. The Kiriban is more of a hit with the working men and the girly drinks are more of a hit with working women and people like yourself."

"Myself? What pray tell do you mean by that?" Yami raised an eyebrow and watched the man shift slightly on his feet as he glanced over Yami's leather and buckle outfit.

"You know, gays. Not that I have anything wrong with that or anything bro." The man grinned nervously at Yami, whose eyes had now narrowed and were glinting off the lights, giving a rather dangerous look to him.

"I am not gay." It was the end of the discussion, and the man just coughed a little and glanced away for a second, obviously still not buying it.

"Well then what can I get you?" Yami shrugged some, his anger gone as fast as it came.

"I'll try a Kiriban I suppose." The bar man nodded and turned around, grabbing a bottle and poring it into a glass and handed it back to Yami.

"Thanks." Yami took a gulp, then spluttered and wrinkled his nose down at the glass.

"Three thousand years and they still can't make it taste good." He muttered to himself, and then blinked as he felt someone sit beside him. The person snatched his glass of Kiriban, it wasn't just anyone though. Yami turned to face Bakura who just gave him a small smirk and took a gulp from Yami's glass.

"The point isn't for it to taste good Pharaoh, it's to make ittolerable long enough so you can get drunk and then not care about how it tastes!" Yami just glared.

"You're paying for that."

"No I'm not, I steal things, it's what I do, if I paid for them I wouldn't be much of a thief king now would I?" Bakura gave him a slightly psychotic grin before yelling for the bartender.

"Hey Tony, get you're ass over here!" The man grumbled and walked over to them.

"I have told you a million times Bakura, my name is not Tony!" Bakura just waved his hand in a non-caring fashion.

"My _friend_ here didn't like the Kiriban, get him something else." 'Tony' glared a bit at Bakura and turned back to Yami.

"So what do you want?" Before Yami could answer Bakura stepped in, yet again.

"Oh I know, get him a 'Sex on the Beach' and then a 'Screaming Orgasm', because that's the closest he'll ever get to being laid!" Bakura cackled at his own joke but was cut off by a punch to the face, with enough force he fell off the stool and onto his ass on the sticky ground. Yami was glaring daggers down at the thief, his face red from either anger or embarrassment, possibly both. Bakura just smirked back up at Yami and licked the blood off his lower lip.

------End of flashback!-----

A giggle interrupted the three yami's bickering, the glanced over at the sound of the laugh a found Ryou with his pointer finger in Leila's mouth, Malik was smiling fondly at the boy playing with the baby. Bakura, Marik and Yami all cocked their heads at the same time then exchanged glances.

"What…exactly are you doing with the child?" Bakura said cautiously.

"Oh well you know that pot of chocolate-"Ryou was cut short by the doorbell, all heads whipped towards the front door, Ryou raised an eyebrow at Bakura before handing Leila back to Yami, the child's mouth letting go of the pale boys finger with a small pop, two big light brown eyes blinked curiously around the room. The girl fidgeted in Yami's arms, she turned her head up towards her father, Yami glanced down and smiled a little, Leila let out another giggle and reached up and grabbed Yami's bottom lip, her other hand on his cheek, pulling some on the lip Yami's brows furrowed some and shot Bakura a glare, the white haired demon was chuckling lightly.

"Excuse me, could you all take a seat." Leila made a squeaking noise as her hands were pulled away from her fathers face, she looked up at the tri color haired man who was staring past her, looking at the partof the room everyone else was also, she squirmed until she saw what they were looking at; A woman in a blue dress suit with hip length hair was standing next to Ryou who was shifting awkwardly on his feet before the white haired boy scurried over next to his boyfriend , and by doing so giving the woman the floor.

"Who the hell are you and what do you want?" Bakura asked dryly, receiving a glare from a few, but hey, at least he got to the point.

"My name is Suzumi Retai, and I work for the company you adopted him and the child from." She smiled warmly at them. "I just love seeing how people can open their hearts and take in a child! But enough with the warm fluffy stuff, I have to make sure you will treat her right and that she gets the right care, there will be a number of random visits, along with a few scheduled ones, I hope you don't mind but its all protocol." There were a number of numb nods while they absorbed the information, but one person had seemed to lock onto one thing Miss Retai had said.

"What did you mean by adopted 'him', we only adopted Leila!" Yami growled out, Yuugi was nervously glancing over at his other self making sure the eye of Horus didn't appear on his forehead. (…It is Horus right? –cough- My internet isn't working which is why I'm writing on this…so yeah I cant check, oh well!) Suzumi blinked a few times at him before giggling, Leila who had been watching them started giggling along with the woman.

"Ah that's adorable! You're totally clueless…I'm not totally sure how you can be but anyway, that's still cute. I take it you and…Mister Bakura are a couple, and everyone knows there isn't gay marriage in Japan!"(2) Yami and Bakura exchanged looks before the feeling of wanting to embrace accrued. Did this mean they werent actually married! This was wonderful, wonderful news! Of course it didn't last long.

"But it is legal to adopt people of any age in Japan! So technically you Mister Mutou are in fact part of Mister Bakura's family…actually he in a way owns you! Isn't that cute!" She smiled happily at the two.

Yami on one hand looked almost worse then he had after he woke up next to the thief, or even when he found out they were now responsible for a child, but this was the finale straw, he almost physically felt sick to his stomach. Now Bakura on the other hand wasn't totally pleased with the fact he was still in a way married to the Pharaoh, of course there was no file that had a giant red ink stamp that said 'MARRIED' on it, but it still wasn't pleasing…but. Bakura smirked and turned to Yami.

"You hear that _love_, I own you."

The fuse on the bomb that had been lit finally reached the bomb…well maybe not entirely. Yami fell back in a dead faint, before he hit the floor a million thoughts were going through his head, of course the one nagging at the back of his head was he was a Pharaoh, King of Games whatever, those types of people don't faint, that and its unmanly, but those thoughts were slightly pilled under the smirking face of one thief king.

Unfortunately…if anyone remembers, Leila had been in the arms of said passed out former Pharaoh, and as the laws of gravity say, she went down with him, luckily he fell backwards, so the child just made gurgling sound as she went down and bounced a little on his chest at impact but then found the bouncing fun and giggled insanely as she tried to bounce on her own while exploring the wonders of her fathers face with her little hands.

"Well…That went well eh?" Marik grinned at the rest of the group, Bakura was laughing to hard to answer at the site of his most hated enemy getting his face played with by a baby, Malik just sighed and wrapped his arm around Ryou who had been giving his best 'I'm totally in denial about this situation but I'm going to keep looking cute anyway' smile, Yuugi just flicked Marik's arm and went over to pick up the bouncing baby and help Yami.

"Uh…well.." Ryou fidgeted a bit and turned to Suzumi, "Would you like a cup of tea?" The woman smiled pleasantly.

"That would be splendid, thank you."

---------------

Yami groaned slightly, his head felt cold, someone was nudging him gently and someone else was pulling on his bangs, slowly he opened his garnet eyes.

"Mou hitori no boku! Oh… You're awake!" Yuugi's violet eyes stared down at the yami, who blinked and grabbed at wet wash cloth of his forehead, then turned his head to see Leila yanking on his hair. With a grimace badly masked as a smile he sat up and glanced around the room he was in, it wasn't the living room, actually it was a light blue room that was perfectly clean, nothing was out of place…It was actually kind of creepy.

'_Must be Ryou's room, from this amount of cleanliness and the fact I doubt that stupid thief would let me anywhere near his room.' _There was a menacing chuckle from the other side of the room, Yami's head snapped in the direction of it, his eyes were met by dried blood color of Bakura's eyes.

"So, Pharaoh…This is what, the second time you've fainted today? Third? Care to tell us how many more times you plan on it, so we can prepare pillows so when you fall you wont bruise your royal ass." A sadistic had found its way onto the white haired mans head.

"How dare you, you slimy revolting street rat of a thief!" Yami growled out, sitting up rather quickly, almost hitting his head against Yuugi's and leaving Leila blinking at the few curvy blonde strands of hair in her little hands.

"How dare I? I happen to not be the one calling someone oh what was it a 'revolting street rat'? You are such and egotistical arrogant bastard." Bakura growled out, pushing himself off the wall he had been leaning on.

"Oh and like you're not? Please, you act like you rule the world, you have no friends because you treat everyone you meet like they're dirt on your shoe!" Yami had fully pushed himself off the bed and had taken a few steps towards the Thief, who had also had taken a few steps towards the former Pharaoh.

The two looked like they were just about to exchange punches, so Yuugi grabbed up Leila and sighed, pulling strands of hair out of the girl's mouth. Yuugi looked back up at his Yami and Bakura after he heard a slight muffled sound, the hikari's jaw dropped slightly.

To any person who happened to be observing the scene it would have looked like Yami and Bakura had well…kissed, which was exactly what Yuugi thought. That however was not entirely true, what had happened was Yami who had gotten up quickly had gotten a head rush after he stood up, and being mere inches away from the thief, grabbed onto the closest thing he could when he blacked out for a second and pulled down, when he finally had his sense back his eyes opened…and well you know the whole cliché thing, Bakura was shocked, but they both secretly liked it etc, etc…Of course that's slightly an insane idea in itself, seeing how they cant stand each other. So right, Bakura was shocked, I mean who wouldn't, the idea alone of being dragged down into a kiss is weird enough, but by your most hated enemy? So like the sensible, sane, kind and respectful people he was, Bakura shoved Yami backwards and viciously wiped off his lips onto the sleeve of his shirt, cursing loudly.

"What the fuck is wrong with you Pharaoh! Are you some sort of Masochist or what!" Bakura's eyes were narrowed at the Pharaoh, who had landed on his rump after the shove.

"I didn't mean it! It was an accident!" Yami wiped his lips on the back of his hand, glaring up at Bakura.

"How the hell do you 'accidentally' kiss someone!"

"I don't know! But it happened! You couldn't possibly think I would want to kiss _you_! You're a bad kisser anyway, your lips were cold, it was gross!"

Yuugi sighed, there was a strange woman in the living room with Malik, Ryou and Marik, which was never a good thing, Leila was well…here which wasn't really a good thing either; two life long enemies had slept together. Only Yami and Bakura could ignore everything that had happened to argue with each other. Running a hand through his hair Yuugi let out another heavy sigh.

'_Why couldn't I have a normal life?_'

--------

--------- end of…whatever chapter this is…

Boogie: Yes…I have finally finished this chapter (this bad, bad short chapter)…after my way to long break, sorry people. I know I'm a lazy ass…But I really need to be in a certain mood to write, which I'm still not it, so if the chapter sucks that's probably why. Anyway someone (I think) asked for more character stat's so I'll put those in, maybe that will make up for the general horribleness of the chapter. But first I should clear up a few little things things.

1: Okay that probably sounded weird to people who don't know much about like heat stroke's…honestly neither do I, but I do know that a friend of my family's went from a desk to being a lumber jack, got over heated, passed out and started shivering, so the other lumber jacks put a blanket over him…But seeing how people in Estacada (where it happened) aren't exactly the brightest bunch and didn't think ' Oh hey its burning out, maybe the passed out guy isn't cold, because that seems totally impossible' Anyway the guy died from a heat stroke. So just a word of warning…if you're in a desert and someone passes out and is shivering, and you know its hot out…don't do what they did..unless your in like Alaska..then for god's sake dont try to cool them down.

2: As I was thinking over this story I remembered something…No gay marriage in Japan, but a lot of people have gotten around that because adoption is legal at any age and it's pretty much the same as getting married if you think about it. Rights, the last name…etc.

Okay now we get the stats (i'll put more characters in next chapter..but the farther we go into characters the less Info I have on them):

Jounouchi Katsuya (Or Joey Wheeler): (Birthday) January 25th (Weight) 137pounds, 62kg. (Height) 5'10, 178cm. (Favorite food...new thing, thought I'd add it in ) Curry Rice. (Disliked food)…Nothing…-shudder- (Blood type) B

Seto Kaiba (I just realized he hasn't been in any of my stories.. ..oopsiedaisies): (Birthday) October 25th. (Weight) 143pounds, 65kg….Oh my God…He's like the only non-anorexic one! (Height) 6'1, 186cm. (Favorite food) Beef filet with sauce …ive also heard French Beef..i'm not sure the difference. (Disliked food) Oden…I have no idea what Oden is…don't ask. (Blood type) A.

Anzu Mazaki( Or Tea Gardner): (Birthday) August 18th …that...scares me…that's a day before my dads…who acts nothing like her. (Weight) 103pounds, 47kg. (Height) 5'5, 165cm.(Favorite food) Ramen. (Disliked food) Grated Yam…that just sounds yucky.( Blood Type) O.

Ryuji Otogi (Or Duke Devlin, and Ive seen different spellings of Ryuji): (Birthday) not listed (Weight) 140, 64kg (Height) 5'8, 173cm. (favorite food and disliked food) Not listed (Blood type) Not listed…again..

I'll now list like the blood type, favorite food etc. Of the people I had listed in the last chapter! Just to be fair .

Yuugi: (Favorite food) Hamburgers…how original. (Disliked food) Scallion (Blood Type) AB. (Okay so I don't get yelled at Yami's blood type is the same as Yuugi's, but favorite food and such is not listed.)

Ryou : (Favorite food) Cream puffs …a lot of people know that already, I still think its cute. ( Disliked food) Raw Urchin...why would ANYONE eat that?( Blood type) AB.

Yami Bakura : (Favorite food)…Its not listed…but I'm guessing bloody almost raw meat. (Disliked food not listed) (Blood type) A…that might not be true, since it was on a fan site, but hey…what the hell…might as well list it.

Malik: (Favorite food) Koshari …Its an Egyptian dish. (Disliked food) Meat. (Blood Type) B

Yami no Malik( I call him Marik… ):…Okay its weird but ive heard his blood type is A, I would think B like Malik…but whatever. And I feel bad for not saying it, but his birthday is December 23rd and yes…he does have a birthday, the day he was made was on Malik's Birthday, Giving him his own birthday! Awww…he's…younger then everyone.

Okay that's enough of that…I hope people forgive me for not updating in like…a month or more…and will be kind enough to **_REVIEW!_**

Yes that's right…**_REVIEW!_** Again 3 or more and I'll start working…or at least I wont stop the story.

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……Review? Pretty please? Danke! --Boogiewoogiewonka


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